User blog:TeamTaycobSoDealWithIt/101 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen (Part 1)
So, I made a list of ways to annoy Edward Cullen, Bella's beloved love interest in the Twilight Saga. This is not supposed to offend any fans of Edward. This is a JOKE, and I'll even post ways to annoy Jacob, Bella, the Cullens, Renesmee, the wolf pack, and the Volturi too when I finish them. Now that all of that is cleared up, here are my 101 ways to annoy Edward Cullen, with the help of a YouTube video, and many different articles on the web. Oh, and give me a break. It's not like you'd actually get away with annoying him various times, and I know that, so there's no reason to be pointing things like that out. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy. #Always call him Eddie. #Give yourself a paper cut and wave your finger in front of his face, asking, "Do ya want some?" #Tell him that he doesn't look scary. #Make a Transylvania University sweatshirt for him, telling him that he needs to "recall the good old days". Bonus points if you can make a fake yearbook too. #Ask him to help you do something nearly impossible (save/rule the world, build an atomic bomb, find a rainbow unicorn, etc.). When hehas trouble, tell him, "Never mind. I'll just have Jacob help me." #Drive really, really slow. #Sign him up for a blood drive. #Hang posters all over his room that say things like, "I support Jacob" and "Jacob Black for president". #Tie Bella to some railroad tracks. When he gets angry, say, "A little overprotective, aren't we? I'm sure Jacob wouldn't mind this at all." #Scream and ask, "Hey aren't you that guy from Harry Potter??!!" #Tell him that Jane has the coolest power ever, and it is way cooler than mind-reading, which is just an invasion of privacy. #Constantly suggest that he should eat Bella, not date her. Say, "A human wouldn't date a piece of chocolate cake, would they?" #Mention that he isn't a real vampire. #When flying on an airplane, tell him in a low voice, "If this plane crashes on an island, we're eating Bella first." #Suggest that his life is too stressful and that he should invest in aromatherapy. #Invite Jacob's whole family to the wedding. When Edward gets mad, cry and wail, "I was only trying to help!" #Invite the Volturi to the wedding. #Make a list of why werewolves are better than vampires. Act offended when he does not like the list. #Kidnap Bella. When he asks where she is, tell him, "Don't worry about it." #When he threatens to kill you, say in a calm voice, "Now aren't we being a little hasty?" #When he really is going to kill you, blame Alice. Say she took Bella shopping in L.A. #Poke him repetitively. #Scream at him in public about being a stalker for always following Bella and watching her sleep. #Tell him to get piano lessons because his skills suck and he is tone deaf. #Ask him hold old he is. #When he tells you, drop your jaw and shout, "OME YOU'RE OLD!" #Take his pulse and freak out when you discover he does not have one. #Tell him that he needs to get a tan, then take him to a tanning salon. #Go into his room and smash his CD collection. Whe he comes in, point at the mess and say, "Lookie. Shiny. #Call him a stupid, shiny Volvo owner. #Any time you're near him, jump in front of a moving car, demanding to be saved. #Ask him why everyone in his family has more muscles than him. #Run around with a lighter, threatening to set him on fire if he comes and closer to you. #Show him a picture of Robert Pattinson and laugh at their resemblance. #Use large, elegant words for an entire conversation, then ask if he understood what you meant. #Call him a leech, bloodsucker, parasite, or a combination of all three. #Go to the back of the Cullen house and constantly chuck rocks at the glass walls. #Throw garlic at him while shrieking, "DIE DIE!" #Invite him to a bonfire in La Push. #Act offended when he rejects the invitation. #Buy him a pet dog and name it Jacob. #Hire Tanya to jump out of a cake for him. #Force him to eat regular food. #Sing "Seventeen Forever" by Metro Station to him. #Make a shirt for him that, on the front, says, "I kissed a wolf," and on the back, "and I liked it." #Force him to wear the custom t-shirt. #For the wedding reception, make the theme of the plates, cups, napkins, and decorations Harry Potter. #Scold him for going out with Bella who is sooo much younger than him. #Get a $100 gift certificate to McDonald's for his ______ (fill in the blank) birthday. #Cry when he cannot use it because he cannot eat. To be continued in Part 2..... Category:Blog posts